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5 Questions with a Stay at Home Mum and Paw-rent to One

For Liang May, @mmlittlee on Instagram, parenting is never easy. She balances work as a Stay-at-Home Mum (SAHM) while taking care of her 1-year-old English sheepdog, Gypsie. 

We reached out to learn more about her life, and the challenges she faces. Let’s appreciate the hard work she puts in to take care of her family!


1. Hi there! Tell us more about your family.

We are Meyer, May, Ewan, Faye and Gypsie; An out-going and uncontrollable bunch!

The kids are loud and their parents can be too especially when excited or in disciplinary mode. It’s no wonder the pup has the voice of a loud hailer! She must have been nurtured into it when she became a part of our family a year ago.

We work hard but play harder as a team. Though we do set ground rules, we are also believers in free play.

2. Bring us through a daily life routine at home.

On a regular day, our children hit school and spend six hours away from home. Every morning, we send Ewan and Faye to school as a whole family unit. We never leave Gypsie home alone even if school drop-offs are less than 20 minutes. Gyps patiently waits for us to leash her up for her morning school runs while the children put on their school shoes and bags. 

As much as we miss Ewan and Faye when they are off at school, we get to spend quality time as husband and wife. It is especially nice when we detour to a cafe to partake in a leisurely breakfast before starting work [at home]. Plus, our lucky floofy little one gets to bask in the morning sun while we indulge in cappuccino and poached eggs.

The Work From Home [WFM] situation now is really quite a blessing for us and especially for Gypsie. We are hardly away for hours at length and she’s always got one of us home with her giving her belly rubs and playing fetch.

The Welcome Home [From School] ritual from the children and Gypsie is one that is extremely heart-warming to watch. From a distance, I will be able to hear Ewan and Faye squealing “GYPSIE!” as they run home. Gyps will portray her happiness with lots of pounces and licks. No rules here – just go crazy you guys with the Welcome Home!

For the rest of the day, we will go about our routines of school work, work work, relaxation and play. Dear Gypety Gyps will hang loose around us and wait patiently for her next walk!

When it is time to turn down, everyone enters the children’s room too, well, put the children to sleep. Mommy and Daddy will sneak out to enjoy the rest of the night with Gypsie in tow. She will watch Netflix with us, wonder if she could snack on that crunchy salty bowl of snack we dip our hands into, gets combed and has her teeth brushed.

If she is lucky, she’d get a quick midnight walk under the starry sky should her daddy feels up to it!

3. What would you say are the main challenges you experience working as a SAHM mum plus taking care of a furpup?

Oh wow. This is a story to tell. Two weeks after we brought Gypsie home with us, Daddy broke his foot from parkour. He was out of action for months and things were thrown out of proportion from then.

If you’ve never known about the challenges of raising a puppy, allow me to enlighten you. A puppy, like a newborn baby, needs to poo and pee almost every other hour. We had been taking turns to wake up in the middle of the night to bring Gypsie outdoors to do her business.

We decided to not crate-train Gypsie. Remember, we prefer Free Play and that includes “Freedom of Speech”, “Freedom to Live” and “Freedom to Poo and Pee”.

Initially, we thought of training her on a pee pad but quickly decided to have her outdoor trained as she showed a preference to it even as a three-monther. She is after all a large breed and would eventually “grow out of” a pee pad. We also kept in mind how we can cut down on wastes to help our environment, we sacrificed sleep and brought her out [whenever she called] five times a night between 12am to 7am every day for a few months.

The biggest challenge I faced during the time Meyer broke his foot was to single-handedly take care of every toilet runs, walks and feeds. Not to mention two other human rascals who needed help with school work and of course, cooking and feeding the family.

Without a helper at home, it got really draining but I persisted out of love for my family. Eventually, it became a routine and I got used to it.

What can’t break us, makes us stronger!

As soon as Daddy recovered and out of crutches, everyone rejoiced! Having Gypsie is a shared responsibility from everyone at home. With that understanding, life as a paw-family gets a lot more enjoyable. The dog is happy, the children are happy, mommy is happy and then, Daddy will naturally be happy.

4. What motivates you as a paw-rent?

The smiles and health of my children.

Additionally, I also look forward to every outing in the family calendar. When the week gets dreary, I count down to our next beach outing or the next dog run or staycation or anything that frees our minds from any kind of work. But one that involves every single member of our family.

5. What advice would you give to those struggling to balance their duties as a parent and a pet owner?

First of all, embrace the presence of your new Furkid. For us, Gypsie is our baby, our third child. The love for her burgeons and naturally, we struggle less even though the extra commitment is real!

Paw-rents, like parents, guilt trip themselves too when they see other puppies get more than their own. Social media can be a toxic space for comparisons and I must stress, how we should not compare or feel inadequate when judged by others.

To be honest, I felt a little sorry we did not have time to send Gypsie to puppy training when we had her. There were a lot of self-doubts about our paw-renting style and if we were doing it right for our dear puppy Gyps. But I just couldn’t, especially when Daddy had to go into surgery for his foot and the children going to school every day.

We decided to bring Gypsie up like how we bought Ewan and Faye up. There were no baby training schools or manuals to read. We parented them through trial and error and so we shall do the same with Gyps.

She is an extremely clever pupper but there was no time for fancy trick training because I would be knackered by the time I finished grooming her at night. I always say, “It’s her paw-rents who aren’t very clever.” *haha* But in reality, we are stretched with all that we have on our plates. That doesn’t mean we are doing her any less because Gypsie Gypety Gyps Gyps is one happy child. It doesn’t matter if she understands only Sit, Down, Paw, Stay and Let’s Go!

It matters a lot more to her that she is loved.

And that this family of hers loves her so very much.


A big thank you to Liang May for sharing her insight into double pa(w)renting! We are truly impressed by her ability to juggle both work and taking care of her family members.

Her socials: Instagram | Facebook | Blogspot

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Community Stories

Pawrenting + Parenting

I became a mom in July 2017. A mom to a 4-month-old Maltipoo and I named him Chandler Paddington.

Since then, I considered (and spoiled) him as my own son, as crazy as that may sound.


(Check Chandler’s Instagram here to see how he’s living the best life)

Needless to say, I felt anxious as to how he would take it when he finds out there’s going to be another baby in my life.


DURING PREGNANCY

Chandler became more clingy than usual so I suspected he knew something was different.

As my due date drew nearer, I made sure I gave him the love and care he deserves and expects from me while we prepare for the biggest change in our lives yet.


INTRODUCING CHANDLER TO THE BABY

I didn’t introduce the two of them right away. I had to set the stage up for Chandler and eased into it.

So here’s what I did:

I got Chandler a new toy and had the baby’s smell on it. This way, he could start familiarizing himself with him.

I left Chandler at Doggie Retreat school and had the baby come home first. By doing this, Chandler won’t feel like the baby is a guest who is just coming over.

We brought Chandler home and acted normal. By the time he got home, the baby was already settled.

I gave him the toy with the baby’s smell on it. He then started sniffing and familiarizing himself.

Though we acted normal, he was immediately distracted so he left the toy after a few minutes. He knew something was different so he rushed to the room where the baby is.

Chandler generally took it well. Much better than I expected, to be honest. It was a successful introduction, but there was still the challenge of them living together.


MANAGING BARKS AND CRIES

Babies inevitably cry. And when they do, they tend to be extremely loud. This is in addition to Chandler’s barks. He does get excited when he hears the front door, when there’s a sudden noise somewhere, and when he gets excited.

I’m so relieved that our baby can sleep through Chandler’s barks! He does get startled sometimes, but he falls back to sleep.

Chandler, too, could sleep through at first but he developed a habit after a while. He howls!

We actually don’t know if he’s annoyed or he’s talking back to him, but either way, we find it so funny!


PAWRENTING-PARENTING LIFE BALANCE

Now, the big question is, how am I able to handle having a clingy dog who thinks he’s still a baby and taking care of my baby?

1. Make sure no one is neglected.

While my rule of thumb is the baby comes first, I would make it to a point that Chandler is still attended to. For example, when the baby cries because he’s hungry and at the same time Chandler needs to be fed too, I ask my husband to help me attend to one. If I feed the baby, he will feed Chandler and vice versa.

It could get tricky since Chandler is more attached to me so he would instinctively come to me. When that happens, I would just give Chandler a reassuring pat while I can’t give him my full attention yet.

2. Nothing is compromised

At this stage, I still can’t attend to both at the same time. I generally attend to one at a time. When I’m doing so, I make sure I give my 100% then just attend to the other after. When this is impossible, I ask help from my husband to attend to one first.

3. Always make up for lost time.

Because I choose to give my undivided attention when I’m attending to one, I make sure I make up for it. If I have to shower Chandler and the baby is with my husband, I would go to him right after I shower Chandler and reassure him I’m around.

It’s the same with Chandler. Once I’m done feeding the baby, I would give Chandler a treat and play with him after.

There’s only so much I can do to balance my time and attention. To be honest, there is still a tinge of guilt when I have to say “later, okay?” to Chandler or when my baby has to wait a little longer while I wash my hands after I play with Chandler and before I attend to him. This is why an extra pair of hands is always appreciated.

4. Make Chandler feel as if nothing has changed.

Because Chandler knows he’s always been my baby, I do my best to reassure him he’s not getting less love just because most of my attention is with the baby right now. It could be challenging at times, but so far he’s been fairly understanding. He just needs the same cuddles and of course giving him treats always cheers him up.


My pawrenting + parenting journey has just begun and I’m learning as I go along. Things will be different as the two of them grow, but I am looking forward to seeing them grow up together and be the best of friends.


Do you have any other tips on how to handle pawrenting + parenting? Leave them in the comments section below. I would love to hear them!